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She groped for the flashlight on the nightstand and undressed by its dim illumination. On the nightstand also lay Timothy’s book, she’d found it among his things, the dreadful essays of John Calvin and his doctrine of predestination, promising a Hell full of souls made expressly to be damned, she didn’t know what to do with it, kept it near her, couldn’t help returning to its spiritual ****ography like a dog to its vomit. She found a match, lit a coil of insecticidal incense in a dish, crawled under the mosquito net, drew the sheet to her chin . . . Certain 84 TREE OF SMOKE persons positively and absolutely chosen to salvation, others as absolutely appointed to destruction . . . Lying there in the stink of her life with her hair still wet from rain. She didn’t mbt shoes touch the book. She woke in a glaring light: the ceiling lamp. Apparently the power lines had been dealt with. Still black outside, and the rain had ceased. She took her sandals into the kitchen, tossed them at the sink to drive away the cockroaches, <a href="http://www.thenikes.com"><strong>Cheap Nike Shox</strong></a> turned on the light, poured a glass of cold water from the refrigerator— gas-powered—and sat at the table looking at the photographs. Going for the film had been something to occupy her while she waited for somebody to bring her the ring, the band, which may or may not have been gold, from the finger of a corpse washed up along the Pulangi River. The river people hadn’t sent the ring. Rather than disturb the bones or this sole ornament, they’d gone looking for Westerners who might claim some kinship with these relics. After weeks of deliberation among themselves they’d bartered for an insignificant consideration, justfifty pesos. She was looking through his eyes at this wedding party. They’d been warned they’d be photographed, had prepared themselves. Some of the little girls were dolled up with lipstick and powder, their black hair made brilliant with pomade. His eyes had seen, his mind had processed exactly this moment on the broken steps of the pink church. In the right-hand background a sign—”TREADSETTERS / a new horizon in the world of retreading” — and effigies of Saint Michael floating above a crowd of celebrants, with the blades of his swords swaddled in tinfoil. It was Michaelmas. Muslims, Catholics, everyone danced the praises of the warrior-saint. As Timothy fiddled with the flash attachment the groom’s family began to exclaim and laugh, and when the flash popped they denuded themselves of all human restraint, screeching and trying to hide behind one another in a bashful panic. She took from their box in the refrigerator one of Timothy’s Filipino cigars, sat down with it, held it, lit a match from the dish on the table, took several brief draws before dousing it in the sink, and sat down again at the table surrounded by the reek of him, though her head swam. She tracked any glint of memory into the void. Cigars, photographs, things he’d touched, remarks that floated back, she collected them all compulsively, as some kind of evidence. 1965 85 She got back into bed without turning off the light overhead. Immediately she opened the book of the works of Calvin, the book Timothy had found and read and wouldn’t stop reading. It shocked her that there should exist a phraseology for these defilements, ideas she’d a mbt ssumed to have been visited on herself alone, doubts uniquely sinful, never expressed— and Timothy must have felt the same, because he’d never spoken to her about them or about the book. In the margins he’d penciled checkmarks next to certain passages. She shut her eyes and read them with her fingers. . . “Although, therefore, those things which are evil, in so far as they are evil, are not good, yet it is good that there should be evil things.” “And if God foreknew that they would be evil, evil they will be, in whatever goodness they may now appear to shine.” “Are we children? Will we hide from the truth that God by His eternal goodwill appointed those whom He pleased unto salvation, rejecting all the rest?” This fluttering heart, the thrill of the abyss, the inescapable truth of my foreordained damnation. <a href="http://www.thenikes.com"><strong>nike shox</strong></a> She fell asleep with the light on, holding these terrifying affirmations against her breast. The next morning came sunny and mbt shoes clearance almost cool, the sky full of beautiful traveling clouds, everything so different from last night’s cauldron of ooze. Cory came in with bread and three tiny eggs from the market and made breakfast, after which Kathy met with mbt anti shoe eight nurse’s aids whom she’d trained and who now ran stations in the outlying barangays, at the moment only four stations, and six last quarter, and next quarter who knew, one or six or ten, the funding came and went. The meeting was joined by a woman from the Upliftment Development Foundation, Mrs. Edith Villanueva, who took notes unne mbt sale cessarily. Kathy’s eight aids, all women, all young, all married, all of them mothers many times over, and none of them very often free of their barangays, made a party of the occasion. They had rice and sugar fried in coconut oil and wrapped in banana leaf, rice wrapped in coconut leaf, and regular rice. “It’s all rice,” Mrs. Villanueva said somewhat apologetically. The ladies were all very fond of her husband, had all the news about 86 TREE OF SMOKE his disappearance, spoke of him respectfully, in such a manner as to imply he was neither dead nor alive. They cheap mbts called him Timmy. And then, lunch concluded, it was time for Mayor Emeterio D. Luis, who held a central and elevated position by virtue of having learned everything about everyone in Damulog, who would have been the mayor even if no such municipal office had presented itself for his occupancy. Kathy brought him the leftover dainties arranged on a mahogany tray and draped with a silk scarf. Although Damulog housed a post office and city hall in a three-room cinderblock structure by the market, the mayor stayed out of it, preferring the small parlor of his home, which got shade and a breeze. He put Kathy in a wicker chair beside his desk, called out loudly for ice water, and asked her about polio immunization. She’d known him for two years. Still he took a few minutes to address her as if she’d just landed as an emissary. “Can we bring the polio vaccine to the outlying stations? We have problems in the countryside. Not everyone can march along the roads with so many children all the way to Damulog. These are the poor of the poorest. And sometimes also there can be robbers on the road. We do mbt online n’t want to be victimized by these lawless elements. These are the poor of the poorest.” Kathy had heard him use the phrase several times lately. He invariably turned the words around. Yes: cheap mbt shoes Emeterio D. Luis, the D, according to an engraved granite paperweight on his desk, standing for “Deus.” Elections were far off, but already, he told her, his opponent for the office of mayor had sland mbt clearance ered him, called him a coward, a man with “white eggs.” In his eyes, beneath the pains of office, glowed a general happiness. His sister, who taught at Southern Mindanao University, was singing tribal folk songs through a small PA amplifier on the patio, and he listened with satisfaction, his hands folded beside a vase of foam- rubber blossoms on top of his desk. He talked to her about the American, Skip Sands, just as he must have spoken to Skip Sands about her. And of course he was aware she’d encountered the American in the Sunshine Eatery. “I asked Skeep Sands if he knew the American colonel, and yes, they have a very interesting connection . . . Are you going to ask me what connection?” “I wouldn’t want to gossip.” “Gossip is un-Christian!” he said. “Unless you are talking to the mayor.” 1965 87 Kathy uncovered the desserts and he studied the tray like a chess board, his hand hovering. “So many visitors!” Kathy said, “I think you conjure them up.” “I conjure them up! Yes! I have conjured the American colonel, and the Philippine Army major, and I have conjured that other man, I think he was Swiss, what do you think he was?” “I didn’t meet him. Or the Filipino. Just the colonel.” “And I have conjured the survey team of engineers. Mrs. Luis,” he asked his portly wife as she entered from the kitchen, sliding across the linoleum floor buy mbt shoes in her straw-soled zoris, “what do you think? Do you think I am a conjurer?” “I think you have a very loud voice!” “Kathy believes I can conjure things,” he called as she continued toward the rear of the house. “Kathy,” he said, “I want the survey team to do some work for me. I think you can help me to persuade them.” mbt shoes uk “I don’t hold much sway with them, Emeterio.” “I have conjured them up! They must work for me!” “Well, you’ll have to do your own talking there.” “Kathy. The American called Skeep, do you know what he told me? The colonel is his relative. The colonel is his uncle, to be exact.” Kathy said, “Well!” He’d made a strong general impression, but she couldn’t remember—conjure—the colonel’s face in order to make any comparison. “When I asked Skeep about the Filipino officer and the other man, he pretended he doesn’t know them.” “Why would he know them?” “These people all know each other, Kathy. They are on a clandestine government mission.” “Well, everyone’s under cover.” She herself appeared here under the auspices of the International Children’s Relief Effort, an organization without religious affiliation, whereas in fact she’d come as the wife of her husband: a worker in the vineyards of Jesus Christ. The mayor threw his sandal at a dog that wandered in, a perfect shot, dead on the rear, and it screeched like a bird and leapt out the door. “It’s completely outside of our ideas to gamble,” he suddenly reflected. “Gambling is against the Seven Day ideas. I’m trying to put it behind me.” mbt shoes sale 88 TREE OF SMOKE “I bet you succeed.” “Thank you. Oh-’ I bet’! Yes! Ha ha! ‘I bet’!” He quickly sobered. “But you see, I go to the cockfights. It’s my obligation. I want to connect to the passions of the people.” “I’ll bet you do.” Fifteen minutes had passed, and now a young woman—servant, neighbor, or relative—set down two glasses of ice water on the desk. Mayor Luis dabbed at the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand. He sighed. “Your husband Timmy.” The Filipinos all referred <a href="http://www.thenikes.com"><strong>mens nike shox</strong></a> to her husband, for the first time in his life, as Timmy. “We will wait for word about the remains. It’s taking a little longer. I hold out hope, Kathy, because it’s possible that suddenly we might hear from some criminal elements of people who have taken him alive. We are victimized by so many lawless elements and kidnapper mbt shoes clearance s, but this time it can be said that they give us hope.” He sipped his water while a completely candid silence enclosed him: No. No hope. At two in the afternoon, after classes let out and while the town dozed, she opened the doors of her Damulog health station, which operated in one of the cinderblock schoolhouse’s four classrooms. Upliftment
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