MAC Cosmetic Outlet -Express Weight Loss Technique

While working with Paul McCartney on the two hit singles "The Girl Is Mine" (1982) and "Say Say Say" (1983), the pair became friendly. McCartney told Jackson about the large amount of money he earned from owning music catalogs; he was earning approximately $40 million a year from other people's songs. Jackson subsequently began buying, selling, and distributing publishing rights to music from numerous artists. In 1985, ATV Music, a music publishing company owning thousands of music copyrights, including the Northern Songs catalog that contained the majority of the Lennon-McCartney compositions recorded by the Beatles, was put up for sale. Jackson took an immediate interest in the catalog, but was warned he would face strong competition. Excited, he skipped around saying, "I don't care. I want those songs. Get me those songs Branca [his attorney]". Branca contacted McCartney's attorney, who clarified that his client was not interested in bidding: "It's too pricey". After Jackson had started negotiations, McCartney changed his mind and tried to persuade Yoko Ono to join him in a joint bid, but she declined, so he pulled out. Jackson eventually beat the rest of the competition in negotiations that lasted 10 months, purchasing the catalog for $47.5 million.
Other than physical appearance weight affects a person in many ways. This may possibly be the general quality of life, self-esteem, depression, health risks, and physical incapabilities. There are a lot of positive differences once a individual undergo weight loss. It is for this reason why a lot of people are finding for a weight loss system that will definitely trim down those fats and have a super ######y head turner body. If you desire to lose weight at once, these easy weight loss guidelines are a great way for you to get results that last. As you know, easy weight loss programs are a dime a dozen...and 95% of people who exercise them end up gaining the weight right back. If this concerns you, you'll be relieved to discover that there in reality is a universal denominator which the top 5% have, and once you identify it Buy Cheap Santa Suits for Christmas party this season _606, you'll be able to apply even the simplest weight loss advice and get results where other people fall short. So if you're interested in learning how to lose weight swiftly and obtain your position amongst the top 5%, these tricks for easy weight loss will help you recognize the difference.
Before anything else, the foremost thing that an over-weight must do is search for a medical professional to advocate the best weight loss program. This will be done after a full physical examination MAC Cosmetic Outlet, which leads to the determination of correct weight loss technique. And to lose weight quickly and efficiently, four aspects of life must be changed: what to eat, how to eat, behavior and activity level.
Here are fast recommendations that can transform an over-weight's life:
First: Fast weight loss composes of a multi-faceted system that consists mindset, exercise, and in other cases, diet supplements. Begin by learning a diet food strategy that can easily be used with. Incorporate an exercise plan that allows even at least fifteen minutes a day like brisk walking, running, swimming, and dancing.
Second: Establish realistic approaches. The ability to focus and possess good mindset makes it possible for somebody on a diet regime to quickly lose those extra weight. This means that you set a specific goal weight and expect to realize it, no matter what. This is a simple difference, but a critical one when it comes to reaching any objective. This is because it provides you a sense of certainty and decisiveness which will inspire you to accomplish all the things you already KNOW you need to do to lose weight quickly. With discipline and correct mind set, a dieter will never be disheartened and lose focus.
Third: Listen as the body speaks. Each and everyone's body metabolism reacts differently to different fast weight loss programs and plans. To lose weight fast, resistance and strength training are more valuable than aerobic exercise. Building lean muscle makes easy weight loss possible because it boosts your metabolism and energy levels, making it much easier for your body to burn extra fat even during the period when you are inactive. Now, resistance training does not mean that you have to turn yourself into the Incredible Hulk. All you have to do is begin lifting weights that are heavier than what you are used to lifting, and it will begin to strengthen your muscles and bones and assist you develop lean muscle mass.
Within a few weeks of starting your resistance training, your body will logically begin to drop body fat and it will work to keep your body lean and healthy. Of course, it's still essential that you follow the guidelines of good nutrition and do aerobic exercise at least three times a week. For best results, alternate between aerobic and resistance training or find a method to integrate the two into one work out. Exercise program should be appropriate to one's body, as others are not able to work out as rigorously as other people can. If walking is all that can be done, then walk for this is proven the best exercise. Muscles burn more calories than fats so it's also best to put on a little muscle like having awesome 6 pack abs to look great too.
Fourth: Eat more fibers because it makes a person full faster and stays in the stomach for a longer time, slowing down the rate of digestion. A single portion of whole grain bread moves fat through the digestive system quicker. Grains turn into blood sugar that spikes the body's insulin level. Thus, making the body more energized and ready to tell the body when it should stop burning fats or start storing.
Your metabolism is controlled by something called your endocrine system, which is controlled by means of the nutrients which you put into your body and by the level of stress in your life. The more you consume processed foods, foods which are high in sugar, processed fats and sodium, the more out of whack your metabolism results into and the harder it gets for you to lose weight. Other things which harm your metabolism are excessive dieting and high stress. The good news about this is that if you start eating a natural diet, know fat burning foods that speeds up metabolism and burns fat faster, spending 15 minutes a day in meditation to reduce stress, and avoiding extreme diets you'll recondition your metabolism for having a healthy lean body.
Fifth: Keep away from fried foods especially deep-fried as this has a large quantity of fat. Although fish and chicken appear leaner than beef, this white meat can have more fat than when a beef is fried. It is recommended for persons on strict diet to opt for grilled food as this does not have or contain less quantity of fat after the food is cooked.
Sixth: Takes lots of fluid. Drinking at least six to eight glasses of water a day keeps the body refreshed. Since weight loss depends on how the body eliminates body wastes, the body must stay hydrated.
All in all, discipline and consistency is still the best practice and the key to a speedy weight loss success. Light dieting, workout, and right amount of supplementation applied in a regular way everyday will result in faster weight loss than having a massive action only to be followed a return to old habits as this would only lead to gaining more weight than when the weight loss plan has started.
On May 14, 1984, he was invited to the White House to receive an award from President Ronald Reagan for his support of charities that helped people overcome alcohol and drug abuse. Jackson won eight awards during the Grammys that year. Unlike later albums, Thriller did not have an official tour to promote it, but the 1984 Victory Tour, headlined by The Jacksons, showcased much of Jackson's new solo material to more than two million Americans. He donated his $5 million share from the Victory Tour to charity. He also co-wrote the charity single "We Are the World" in 1985 with Lionel Richie, which was released worldwide to aid the poor in the U.S. and Africa. It became one of the best-selling singles of all time, with nearly 20 million copies sold and millions of dollars donated to famine relief.

　　
　　
　　有一句话说的非常好：性格决定命运，气度决定格局，细节决定成败，态度决定一切，思路决定出路，高度决 定深度，格局决定结局。思想决定一切，播种正面积极的思维，才会收获健康成功的人生;一种良好的心态，比一 百种智慧强。现在的企业在拼命的培训员工，其实现在人缺少的不是知识和技能，而是心态，因为知道不等于做到 。现在和大家分享15中成功人士都具备的良好心态，祝您成功：

　　一、归零的心态
　　所谓归零心态，就是完全放下自己。在这个世界上，这种人一直活在过去，其最大的特点是拿原来拿昨天和今 天来比较。沉浸在过去不能自拔。念念不忘，不堪回首，特别是失恋的人，跳楼上吊，要死不活的。就是不能很快 的放下自己。经验固然是好事，是财富，可以避免一些弯路和损失,shape up skechers，但是我们不能死死不放，最重要的是要注意放下自己。特别是在我们做培训的时候，很多人都是抱着挑剔的心态 去上课，他们谈的最多的是和以前的培训做比较。到最后竟然不知道今天培训的是什么。我们要问自己三个问题： 1.我想做什么?2.我能做什么?3.我该做什么?
　　 把自己一步步的进行规划，踏踏实实的走好每一步，所有成功的人，无不是靠自己的努力一步一个脚印慢慢开拓出 来的。

　　二、学习的心态
　　一个学习的心态很重要，在这个世界上每天产生的信息要一个人学1100年才能学完，并且知识又在以40 % 的年淘汰率更新，将来的机会是属于会学习的人。有句话说：成功代表过去，能力代表现在，而只有学习才能决定 将来。从国家到企业，从团队到个人，都拼命的在学习，在充电，于是报班，买书，拜师……

　　三、创新的心态
　　相信这个世界上唯一不变的就是变!变着通，痛则达。特别在竞争激烈的今天。要时刻站在时代的前沿。在快 节奏的今天就是工作再忙也要看新闻，看广告，看法制等能反映社会、反映市场情况的节目。当然这也是个人习惯 和爱好不同，我想说的是不要让自己和社会脱节。跟着好人学好人，跟着巫婆学装神，要成功就要跟成功者在一起 。

　　四、付出的心态
　　人都怕失去，没有人不想得到，关键是要先付出。林伟贤老师说过一句话：人生是算总帐的过程，不要计较眼 前的得失。当你成功的时候，老天会把你的一切都还给你。放眼开去，这一条路那么漫长艰辛，能时时付出，不计 得失，难能可贵。这一定要有大智慧，或有佛家的宽容大度。你认为什么样的人生才是最有价值的人生?答案是： 能够为别人服务的人生才是最有价值的人生。

　　五、老板的心态
　　当你是一个普通的职员，你说我们的企业或产品三年以后做完全中国，五年走出亚洲，七年以后走向世界，整 个地球村都是我的，请问可能吗?如果你已经是一个上千万的企业家我认为还是有可能的，老板是视工作为终生事 业。而员工是视工作为赚钱的手段，这就是区别：如果公司是十层高的楼，那么老板站的位置是楼顶，副总在八楼 ，经理在六楼，主管在三楼，员工在一楼和地下室。那么作为员工的有没有老板的境界和思维，能不能站在老板的 角度去考虑和处理问题，能不能把公司当成自己的事业来做。

　　六、医生的心态
　　我们都明白这个社会竞争太残酷，压力太大，责任太重，有时真的让我们喘不过气来。常言道：人生在世，不 如意十有八九。其实人都有情绪，都有苦难艰辛，都有不开心甚至痛苦迷茫的时候，而别人的劝慰其实是没有什么 用的，这时就要有医生的心态来调整自己，人要面对很多的艰难和无奈。在每个人心底都有一个临界点，当你的心 情跌到临界点的时候就会反弹起来，并且会产生强大的力量!压力太大，不是好事。如果不会把压力变成动力，寻 找一些解压方式，压力来自于责任，如婚姻和家庭，要学会化解压力，解压的方式有很多种，如听音乐、旅游、看 书、发泄，实在不行换个东家，人挪活，树挪死!

　　七、共赢的心态
　　人的成长是依赖――独立――互赖的过程，最高的境界就是互赖，共赢。小成功靠自己，大成功靠团队。其实 现在社会任何的成长和前进都离不开别人的支持。这会是人群居的组合。而" 人" 字结构也很奇特，一撇一捺。你我共同组成一个奇特的支撑体，少了谁都会倒下。一个人有他的价格和价值，价格 是别人给的，但是价值是自己提升的。你希望自己值多少钱，就要让自己具备多少价值。与人合作共赢的基础就是 你有多少能给别人的价值。

　　八、责任的心态
　　每个人都是带着责任来到这个世界上的。美国西点军校的学员章规定：每个学员无论在什么时候，无论在什么 地方，无论是否进行自己的私人活动，都有责任履行自己的职责和义务。这种履行必须是发自内心的责任感，而不 是为了获得奖赏或别的什么。

　　九、主动的心态
　　这个大家都知道主动的心态也就是积极主动，人的心态只有两种：积极和消极。心态有三个层次：心态、激情 和信念。一个人要保持激情有活力，主要取决于他的信念，也就是前面说的理想。当理想成为信念的时候，这种积 极的情绪才是持久的。激情的心态爆发状态，信念是心态的最高境界你对生命的态度决定了生命对你 的态度!

　　十、务实的心态
　　做工作要实实在在，不懂就问，不懂就学;不要眼高手低，认真做好每一件小事，每一个成功的人都是从小事 做起，把一件小事做到极致，就像武林高手要立足江湖就要有绝招，练刀就要把到练精，练剑就要把剑练好，执行 在于细节!

　　十一、空杯心态;
　　我们做企业的要能容人，装下新的知识和东西，要吸收别人的优点和先进的东西,shape ups skechers。MBA课程中有一个关于时间管理的案例，首先是清空，水，沙，石子，谁先装，肯定是先装石子 ,skechers women，这个道理不说自明。


　　十二、成长的心态
　　我们要不怕出丑,skechers tone ups，做事情要抢着做，成长就是出丑，出丑就是为了成长不要怕失败，成功者永不放弃，放弃者永不成功，每个人都 会失败，失败并不可怕。可怕的是，失败一定要检讨，成功一定有方法，失败一定有原因，就像小孩一样，请问各 位,skechers outlet，你们开始学步的时候，难到没有摔倒吗?

　　十三、竞争的心态
　　我们要不断的充实和完善自己,skechers shoes，给自己制定一个竞争策略和战略规划，适者生成，不适者淘汰，这是很正常的自然规律，请问，在自然界在森林 里。狼吃掉了羊，有人同情羊吗?所以本事从小就要练。就像狼一样从小他们的母亲就要教他们本领，并且当作游 戏玩!

　　十四、谦虚的心态
　　任何事情都要谦虚，葡萄不熟才酸，人无知才傲，如清洁工，门卫，老板要用他就有他的道理，我们不需要知 道的就千万不要去打听，知道的越多，对你没什么好处。每个人都有自己的秘密，该你知道的你才要知道吗?否则 死了，也不知道原因，可悲!

　　十五、合作心态
　　现在注重的是团队精神要有狼性合作精神，我们要学习狼的合作精神，狼的伟大在于团队合作精神，一个中国 人是条虫，十个中国是条龙，更何况每个人都有自己的长处，欣赏一个人就是欣赏一个人的长处，特别是企业的管 理者更要注重合作精神。《西游记》中的唐僧师徒四人就是一个很好的合作团队。从一个角度来看，对手又是帮助 你更清楚地了解自己弱点在哪里的贵人，感谢对手就是力量，感谢对手就是财富。

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Reprinted from 695651762 at 14:19 on October 24,timberland boots sale, 2010 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Emotional World


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The court declared the scene

11 young men posing as well-known sites or securities firm securities salesman or analyst to have stock insider information, you can get high returns as a cover to defraud more than 100 investors of more than 200 million. Yesterday, according to Mianyang City Intermediate People's Court on 11 fraud culprits stocks were verdicts. They were sentenced to 11 years to two years in prison, in addition to a different number of fines.
courtroom

11 people were brought criminal

10:00, 11 culprits were brought to trial, the bailiff hall. Justice according to law,true religion mens jeans, 11 principal sentenced to 2 years to 11 years in prison and a fine of 1.75 million live together.
in the courtroom, the Public Prosecution that a certain Shu, Yu Mou, Daimou, 11 people with illegal possession for the purpose of posing as well-known sites or securities firm securities salesman or analyst to have stock insider information can be obtained under the guise of high returns, defrauding others of money up to more than 200 million acts have violated criminal law.
Mianyang City Intermediate People's Court was made, 11 were sentenced to a comfortable 11 years to two years imprisonment,true religion outlet, and impose different amounts of fines.
Ryu one of the culprits after the verdict in the trial, said they will appeal.
investors report

cheated more than 20 million

August 26, 2009, Mianyang Branch of Municipal Public Security Bureau received a fairy police said the public on behalf of the President.
According to Mr. behalf, in March 2009, he received a claim of a securities company in Chongqing staff telephone, said the stock can provide insider information. On behalf of the President in accordance with the other party to provide stock information, earned 2 million yuan, so on behalf of the President endless joy.
After lengthy communication, trust each other to obtain, on behalf of the President where the thought of this is a bait. Early August 2009, the other stocks to focus operations on its behalf on the grounds, so on behalf of the funds deposited into the designated account, Mr.. Mr. behalf of three batches, will be more than 20 million in cash, deposited into a designated bank account number, followed by the other party no audio.
26 August the same year, on behalf of the President realized that he had been deceived, Pianxiang Fairy Police. Mr. Fairy provided on behalf of the police investigation found that bank account, these funds account for up to a day out of a few thousand dollars, a few thousand dollars. Police realized that this was a way to cash in by investors on behalf of people a lot of money stock fraud, immediately set up a
involved millions

arrested 29 suspects

Immortals police rushed to Mianyang, Chongqing, bring up the card from a bank of video records of withdrawals, hair Mr. into the card modern 5 million, in the afternoon by two men in Chongqing Yuzhong branch and ATM teller machines on the counter all removed.
as the investigation deepens, the police found several bank cards into the capital each day the first time in a few hours go to another bank card, at different times of the cash withdrawal from bank . Funds involved in Chongqing,levis jeans online, Sichuan, Beijing, Guangdong, Hunan and other places, between as many as several million dollars.
2009 年 10 26, nearly two-month task force investigation by police in the District One office Jiulongpo and found the whereabouts of the gang involved.
the morning, the police are called to the shareholders of the 29 people involved, Danghuo in office buildings. Among them, 20 people involved in young women, who posing as a securities company staff to share internal information with the ground, after cheating investors of trust to defraud investors of money. The next day, all the people involved escorted back to Mianyang.
routine fraud case analysis of three sets

Coming out of college students.
Zhang Jian said that means the crime was a single case: the company's all personnel, both in doing a business, the way telephone contact with strangers, as quoted in the bait. And Yu Mou before joining fraud gang, had had time to study the stock. In the Southwest Securities Yu Mou also posing the same time, Eastern wealth network analyst, claiming Yang, contact with the victim.
fact, Yu Mou is the official site of the day searching for information, and comprehensive views of industry experts, selected stock. His message is not more than the shareholders,levis jeans sale, but by a very small number of people taken in publicity, audience gradually increase, although relatively more of the investors is not taken for nothing,true religions, but the national net, even 1% of the catch rate, is very high.
The group has a total of three sets of routine program of deception: the first set,true religion sale, into the program. Stock for the victims Typically 10% of revenue. The third set of options: to do the project in the name of the victim money directly out of their remit to provide the account. Zhang eventually cheated victims in Mianyang is the third set of programs.
long Huaxi Dushi Bao, a reporter Yaomao Qiang Wu Jun CRITICAL photo coverage

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90、你以为最酸的感觉是吃醋吗？不是，最酸的感觉是没权吃醋。
89、痛苦来临时不要总问：“ 为什么偏偏是我？” 因为快乐降临时你可没有问过这个问题。
88、人生有两大悲剧：一个是得不到想要的东西，另一个是得到了不想要的东西。
87、人，长得漂亮不如活得漂亮！
86、同样的一瓶饮料，便利店里卖3元，五星饭店里卖60元，很多的时候，一个人的价值取决于所在 的位置。
85、每个人出生的时候都是“原创”，可悲的是很多人渐渐都成了“盗版”。
84、当大部分人都在关注你飞得高不高时，只有少部分人关心你飞得累不累，这就是友情。
83、喜欢一个人，就是在一起很开心；爱一个人，就是即使不开心，也想在一起。
82、忍无可忍，就重新再忍。
81、理想和现实总是有差距的，幸好还有差距，不然，谁还稀罕理想？
80、不是每句“对不起”，都能换来“没关系”。
79、人生就像一杯茶，不会苦一辈子，但总会苦一阵子。
78、上天决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面它给你留了余地。
77、朋友就是把你看透了，还能喜欢你的人。
76、任何人都可以变得狠毒，只要你尝试过嫉妒。
75、爱情就像攥在手里的沙子，攥的越紧，流失的越快。
74、让未来到来，让过去过去。
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72、人之所以活得累，是因为放不下架子，撕不开面子，解不开情节。
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68、如果帅可以当饭吃，那我的帅可以让13亿人吃饱了。
67、肥肉交了个女朋友，不到一个星期就吹了，朋友问为什么，肥肉说：“她说……看我久了，就觉得好腻哦… …”
66、最惨的工作是什么？就是干他不喜欢的事。比最惨更惨的是什么？还要干一辈子！
65、在街上看美女，目光高一点就是欣赏，目光低一点就是流氓。
64、心若没有栖息的地方，到哪里都是在流浪。
63、人生最大的悲哀，并不在于你得不到或者失去了什么，而是你根本不知道你自己想要的是什么。
62、如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光。
61、别总拿你那老百姓的身份给我讲述那2B社会的故事！你再牛逼百度咋搜索不到你呢？你再强悍你能憋住尿 吗？
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59、我是白领：今天领了薪水，交了房租水电，买了油米泡面,skechers shoes online，摸了口袋，感慨一声，这个月工资又白领了…
58、作为一个怪兽，我的欲望是至少消灭一个奥特曼。
57、用嘻哈的蓝调精神来过二胡一样的生活。
56、
他说：我只是把她按到床上了，什么都没干。­
他说：我什么都干了，只是没把她按到床上。
55、没有医保和寿险的人，天黑后不要见义勇为……
54、我又不是人民币，怎么能让人人都喜欢我？！
53、你要搞清楚自己人生的剧本――不是你父母的续集，不是你子女的前传，更不是你朋友的外篇。
52、很多人说婚姻是爱情的坟墓，但是能够入土为安的爱情总比暴尸街头要好。
51、你想打折吗？报上我的名字，保证打得你粉碎性骨折！
50、对于老喜欢说以前怎么怎么样的人，我们老大说：“你以前穿开裆裤，你现在难道还穿吗？”
49、­同事非常喜欢打麻将，她说：“10年前我从来不打麻将，而且看到谁打麻将就觉得他是畜生， 现在我看到谁要是不打麻将，就觉得他是畜生。”―_―!!!
48、­一个朋友在机关单位做临时工，单位要求她写反腐倡廉的材料，她想起那些有钱有权的同事，提 笔就写：“反腐倡廉，他们腐败，我廉洁。”
47、08年中国多灾多难，什么都不正常，就中国足球队还算正常！­
46、喝碧生源减肥茶，嗖的一下胸没了~­
45、上班这一天…… ­
最痛苦的事就是“下班了，活还没干完！” ­
最最痛苦的事就是“还没下班呢，活干完了！” ­
最最最痛苦的事是“上班时没有活，快下班了，来活了！” ­
最最最最痛苦的事是啥，你知道嘛？就是“上班时没活,skechers shoes，下班时没活，下班到家了，打电话告诉你来活了！” ­
44、想起一同学，那天我们逛街，看见一件衣服…… ­
她：老板，这衣服多钱？ ­
老板：168，不还价。 ­
她：15块，卖不卖？ ­
老板：好，卖你算了。 ­
43、李宇春语录：哥抽的是烟，吐出来的是寂寞，不要迷恋哥，哥只是个传说……春哥纯爷们，铁血真汉子，人 民好兄弟，父亲好儿子，拳上能站人，臂上能走马，夜御十女枪不倒，菊花百战色仍红。 ­
42、牧羊，一辈子都在急；金牛，一辈子都在守；双子，一辈子都在徘徊；巨蟹，一辈子都在等；狮子，一辈子 都在控制；处女，一辈子都在准备；天秤，一辈子都在权衡；天蝎，一辈子都在猜疑；射手，一辈子都在玩儿；摩 羯，一辈子都在奋斗；水瓶，一辈子都在做梦；双鱼，一辈子都不知道自己在做什么。 ­
41、真胖子是不减肥的。 ­
40、理想很丰满，现实很骨感,shape up skechers。 ­
39、枯藤老树昏鸦，小桥流水人家，古道西风瘦马，夕阳西下，老男人在“天涯”。 ­
38、谎言与誓言的区别在于：一个是听的人当真了，一个是说的人当真了。 ­
37、漂亮MM都是过眼的浮云，永恒的只有那温暖的右手…… ­
36、你让我滚？我滚了。你让我回来？对不起，滚远了。 ­
35、您真是贱人多忘事啊~ ­
34、雷锋做了好事不留名，但是每一件事情都记到日记里面。 ­
33、幸福就是痒的时候挠一下，不幸就是痒了但挠不着，更不幸的是，很久以来灵魂和肉体都感觉不到那种蠢蠢 欲动的痒了。 ­
32、天没降大任于我，照样苦我心智，劳我筋骨。 ­
31、谁，执我之手，敛我半世癫狂；谁,skechers women，吻我之眸，遮我半世流离。 ­
30、众里寻她千百度，蓦然回首，那人依旧对我不屑一顾。 ­
29、念了十几年书，想起来还是幼儿园比较好混。 ­
28、短篇小说我爱你母亲的上半部分，今天就播送到这里，明天同一时间请继续欣赏，我爱你母亲的下半部分… … ­
27、地铁上的广告：挤吗？买辆车吧！出租车上的广告：堵吗？坐地铁吧！ ­
26、谢谢你，谢你大爷，谢你全家，谢你祖宗十八代。（见过这样感谢别人的吗？） ­
25、数据显示，2008年中国男性占全国总人口的52%，女性占43%…. ­
24、做梦梦见吃意大利面，早上醒来发现鞋带没了！ ­
23、铁杵能磨成针，但木杵只能磨成牙签，材料不对，再努力也没用。 ­
22、留得青山在，还是没柴烧。 ­
21、就算地球不转了，我们还是要围着以胡主席为中心的党中央继续转。 ­
20、炮轰过的脑袋还梳个雷劈的发型。 ­
19、出问题先从自己身上找原因，别一便秘就怪地球没引力。 ­
18、闺女，要适当吃一点才有劲减肥啊！ ­
17、我允许你走进我的世界，但绝不允许你在我的世界里进进出出。 ­
16、就算我是一只癞蛤蟆，我也坚决不娶母癞蛤蟆,shape ups skechers。 ­
15、男孩穷着养，不然不晓得奋斗；女孩富着养，不然人家几朵鲜花就拐走了。 ­
14、5岁的女儿让老爸帮她做某事。老爸：“爸爸很累啦，你夸我两句吧，你夸我两句我就又有劲了。 ” 女儿：“老爸！”老爸：“哎！” 女儿：“你家妞妞长得可真漂亮啊……” ­
13、人生最好不要错过两样东西：最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。 ­
12、人生没有彩排，每天都是直播，不仅收视率低，而且工资不高。 ­
11、前途是光明的，道路是没有的。 ­
10、我挣钱不就是为了吃口饭么？挣钱挣到饭都来不及吃上一口还挣个P。（偶同事说的） ­
9、你爹娘用那10分钟来散步多好啊! ­
8、爱国爱家爱师妹,防贼防盗防师兄～ ­
7、大哥…我对灯发誓…我真抽了… ­
6、有一天有个婆婆坐车…坐到中途婆婆不认识路了…婆婆用棍子打司机屁股说：这是哪？司机说：这 是我P股… ­
5、上班就是要发扬死猪不怕开水烫的精神! ­
4、你们以后再这样，就别怪我翻脸不是人了！ ­
3、你有什么不开心的事？说出来让大家开心一下。 ­
2、我坐在一块一亿五千万年的石头上，发了一个下午的呆… ­
1、我一想问题，就左边脑袋是面粉，右边脑袋是水。­