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Old 09-08-2011, 12:10 PM   #1
i0love0u
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:15 PM   #2
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  内容来源:手机腾讯网笑话频道
  宣忠的营销咨询工作室开办了已有半年,正经的生意没几个,可竟来一些莫名其妙,甚至是啼笑皆非的业务。 这不,刚一上班,一位衣冠不整,蓬头垢面的老哥就堵上门来。
  “您有什么事吗?”
  “您是宣经理吧,我想请您帮我策划策划。”
  “您是做什么的呢?”
  “说来惭愧,我以前也是个老总,做生意赔了,房子也抵了,老婆也跑了,干老总多年,除了有点脾气,什么 本事也没有,现在只好乞讨为生,不过现在乞讨这行业,门槛太低,竞争太激烈。想让您帮我出出主意,提高一下 我的乞讨业绩。”
  “你都混成叫花子了,running shoe new balance,还讲究什么业绩?”
  “人即使再落魄,也得精益求精,追求卓越吧。”
  “那好吧,就冲你这精神,我也接你这活了。”
  那人很高兴,说“我现在没钱付给您咨询费,等我挣了钱,我再给你,new balance running sneakers,您看我现在应该怎么办?”
  宣忠思考了一下说:
  “您看,您要在乞讨业有所建树。就得先有个品牌。您贵姓?”
  “姓李。”
  “叫花李,你看这个名字还可以吧?”
  “不错不错,挺好听。”
  “你有没有固定经营场所?也就是你有没有固定乞讨的地方?”
  “有啊,我一般上午在人民广场,那人多,上午站累了,下午,我就去散散步,顺便捡捡破烂。我干乞讨这个 职业,虽然被人瞧不起,但也属于自由职业者。”
  “叫花李,我给你一个建议,你一定要走专业化道路,不要又乞讨又捡破烂,你只有把你的乞讨这个主业做大 做强之后,才能多元化经营。况且,又干这个,又干那个,品牌不够集中。”
  “是,是,我以前就是这样被搞死的。”
  “你呢,以后每天就在人民广场守着,手里拿个碗,碗里先放上几块八毛的,在你面前立个牌子,上面写上「 叫花李」。这样你就与其它乞讨人员不一样了,你已经有了自己的品牌。”
  宣忠喝了口水,接着说:“有了自己的品牌,这还不够,你必须在乞讨方式上与竞争者区别开来,你必须差异 化经营。让别人觉得你有个性,有特色,就是和别人不同。”
  “以后不管什么人给你钱,你只许收人家五毛。你还像过去一样,面对熙熙攘攘的人流,拿个碗,伸向人群, 嘴里做着广告:行行好吧!行行好吧!我估计大多数人连看你一眼都不看,躲着就过去了。你别泄气,这是正常现 象,不要奢望把所有的人都变成你的客户。
  记住了,我们只为一部分人服务,要找到我们的目标客户群。我相信,肯定会有些人朝你碗里扔个块八毛的, 这时候,你一定要看清楚是多少钱,如果是五毛,就对人家说声谢谢。如果比五毛多,例如一块,你不要见钱眼开 ,赶紧把人家叫住,对人家说:“谢谢,我这里只收五毛”然后,你再找给人家五毛钱。
  “如果人家给的不足五毛,比如两毛,你也把人家叫住,对人家说:谢谢您的好意,我这里最低消费就是五毛 ,这两毛您还是拿回去吧。”
  叫花李有点不明白。“啊?!照你这个策划,人家给一块,找回五毛,人家给两毛还不要,我岂不要的更少了 ?不行不行。”
  “老李,不,叫花李,你听我说,你要想在乞讨业有所突破,你必须按我的话去做,刚开始是有点损失,但你 和其它乞讨的不同了。你想想,当你找五毛钱给人的时候,那人是什么感觉,估计那人手里拿着那五毛钱,站在那 得楞一会,“怎么回事,要钱的还带找钱的?”你相信不相信,回家他就把这事宣扬出去,他会跟亲戚朋友说:“ 人民广场有个叫花子,我给了他一块,他还找我五毛。”
  那个给你两毛的家伙就更惊诧了,估计当时他就得跟你翻脸“什么,你有没有搞错,你这还有最低消费?我问 问你,你还是叫花子吗?”回去,他也要为你宣传:“今儿个我可遇见一件怪事,人民广场有个要钱的,有个性, 我给他两毛,他还不收,告诉我最低只收五毛。”
  这些人都免费为你宣传,免费为你做口碑广告,你想想,你的知名度增加了,无形资产就增加了,现在这个年 代,是注意力经济年代。你只要聚集了人气,就不愁不来钱。
  “真的?那我就试试”
  过了两个星期,叫花李也没有再来,宣忠心里一直想知道策划的效果,于是便来到人民广场找叫花李。一进广 场,老远就看到在广场一角围了一群人,挤进去一看,中间果真是叫花李。
  在他面前,立着一个牌子,上书:著名职业乞讨师-叫花李。旁还放着一本无家可归人员登记证。叫花李正忙着收钱,找钱。人群中有位中年妇女说
  “嘿,我们家那位回来跟我一说,我还不相信,天底下还有这样的叫花子,只收五毛,多了还不要,到这来一 看,还真是,您看人家这个乞讨,还真够职业。”
  旁边一个小伙子气不过了,“我还不相信,有人会见钱不眼开。”说着,走上前去,拿出一张一百元的大票来 ,递给叫花李:“看你挺辛苦的,别找了。”叫花李忙把他拉住,一边数出一堆毛票塞给他,一边说:“谢谢大哥 的好意,您也不容易,我就收您五毛,多了不收,欢迎您下次再来。”围观的人看到这场景,竟然鼓起掌来。宣忠 看到这里,觉得很满意,也没和叫花李打招呼,便从人群中钻了出来。
  过了两三天,一个雨天,叫花李来了。“宣经理,多谢您的策划,我现在的乞讨事业蒸蒸日上,要不是下雨, 我都没有时间来看你。”
  “老李,别客气,主要还是你自身的素质好,new balance running shoes,你本身就长了一个适合乞讨的脸,再加上经历了这么多风雨,cheap new balance ML574,满脸都是沧桑,稍微有点同情心的人就想给你点施舍。”
  “宣经理,你说也怪了,那几个和我一同在人民广场乞讨的,长的比我惨,可他们一天却要不来 几个钱。”
  “这你就不懂了,麦当劳的老板曾经说过,不要以为麦当劳是经营快餐的,其实麦当劳是经营房案例的,透过 做餐饮,把一个个好地方,都给占了。你也一样,不要以为,你是经营乞讨业的,你是经营娱乐业的。你在乞讨的 同时,给大家带来新奇,带来快乐。””
  “真的?没想到我的工作这么崇高。”
  “你是赶上好时候了,要是二十年前,物质还十分缺乏,大家挣的钱只够吃饭,你要钱即使就是要出花来,也 没人理你,可现在不同了,物质是丰富了,可人的精神却越来越空虚,总想寻求刺激,如果听说哪里有个三条腿的 蛤蟆,都要开车几十公里去看看。大家给你钱,不是因为你值得同情,是因为你这个行为比较有趣。 ””
  叫花李听得直点头,“我有点明白了,您是说人吃饱了没事,总想看个新鲜事,我要钱的方式比较奇特,所以 就把大家吸引来了?”
  “对”,宣忠见有人能听明白,说得就更来劲了“现在是眼球经济,注意力经济,谁有个性,谁有特色,谁就 能吸引大家的目光,谁就能把哗哗的人民币吸引来。简单的现象其实背后都蕴藏着深刻得道理,new balance 576!”
  “好,我回去继续搞我的眼球经济,娱乐产业。”
  又过了两三天,宣忠正坐在办公室里,突然手机响了,看看号码,是一个陌生的号码,宣忠按了一下接听键, 说“你好!”对方里传来一个有些熟悉的声音“宣总 啊,我是叫花李啊”
  “啊?!你都配上手机了。”
  “信息时代嘛,我找您有要紧事,一个小报的记者要采访我,我该怎么说呀?”
  “这是一个好机会,一定要抓住。”宣忠喘口气接着说“你这回不要就事论事,一定要拔高自己,把自己的认 识上升到一定高度。你可以这么说,虽然我干的只是低贱的乞讨业,但也要坚守行业准则,既不能私抬物价哄骗消 费者,又不能胡乱降价陷入恶性竞争。”
  过了几天,宣忠就在当地的一个地方性小报看到了那篇报道,题目是《一个具有职业道德的叫花子》,宣忠看 完之后,心想,这个叫花李,现在已经出名了,我应该找他收点咨询费。于是宣忠就来到人民广场去找他,老远就 看到广场一角围了很多人,比上回人更多了。宣忠走上前去,挤进去一看,虽然地上放的牌子还是叫花李,可人已 经换了一个人。
  “叫花李呢?”宣忠问那人。
  “你问我老板啊?你去百货大楼门口找他吧。”
  “他去那儿干嘛?”
  “他说要在百货大楼门口开个分店。我是他雇来的,在这看着老店。”
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:39 PM   #3
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