tory Hilarious , do not blame me!

[amoy2698]

1. Once a man Jiao cool.
he was dead.
funeral that day.
his family cried: '
cool Ah ... Ah ... cool. '
Passersby puzzled. Asked: 'what are they cool. '
Family cried:' Shuangsi ... ... Shuangsi!!
2. Seven years after graduation, and finally take a big project, building a chimney meters, two-month period, cost of three hundred thousand, but to Advancer. Finally finished out late last year. Today people to come to acceptance, being yelled die, not get paid. Damn! Drawings look backwards, others to dig a well!
3. a drunken man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by crowd, a policeman came: What happened? Drunk: do not know, I am also just arrived.
4. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture. Patient said, I think there are sand shoes to hold the poles shake shoes. TMD has a bastard through there, thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick gave me two sticks!
5. One said, turtles father, mother and son of a bitch turtle family decided to go hiking,roll top timberland, they took a Shandong the end of bread and two cans of chicken
sea, then went off to Yangmingshan. Hard to climb ten years, at last! They sat on the floor, remove the equipment quasi
prepare dinner. Results, but found no band can opener!
son of a bitch: have to wait for me to come back! can not go back on Oh!
Turtle Mom: a! Parents regardless of the turtle! Old couple decided to start.
out getting ready to eat cake ... ...
Suddenly, son of a bitch stuck his head out from behind a tree ... ...
son of a bitch: cans device? I waited twenty-five years, in whom I wait until the end
it! I hate people lie to me!
6. small Xin: Daddy, why does the name of which three gold ?
Dad: lack of gold in your life, so take the name of Xin,tory burch totes, like some life in the water to take named Miao, and some life in the absence of wood called Forest.
small Xin: Dad Dad, you say that Guo Jingjing and her sister what life in the missing?
7. a pair of male and female friends sitting on a park bench in love, women suddenly want to fart.
of the man said: I Division of Cuckoo called, not as you listen to.
men really than hear.
Thus, women in the Valley birds do not?
M: fart too loud, I could not!
8. turtle injured. let the snail go to buy medicine. after 2 hours. snail has not come back. turtle anxious cursed: I do not come back to ########ing die! Then the door came the sound of a snail: I say you are his mother not to go!
9. somebody keep a pig, sick, abandoned, then know that return pig , the number of abandoned reactive. day, the car turned a lot of bending abandoned pig, late-night call the family, asked: ants were all fall down. At this point there is one in the elephant's neck, falling ants loudly called for . Then a student stood up and said: eat a good amount.
13. Xiao Ming: ; was unable to bear the question: No, ah ... ... the sentence: : letter was written very slowly, because I know you see the word offensive!
our next 2 times this week rain, the first 4 days the second time under the following 3 days!
you Huaguoshan good time? I had very bad in heaven, because there is no gravity, so the stool, urine, tears and snot are not fall, do not you say bitter? ;
beef noodle soup here is very delicious, Maybe you can come with us to eat hot pot restaurants West!
your sister give birth to the Goddess of Mercy, because Students do not know the man or woman, we do not know if you want to be uncle or aunt!
I sent to your clothes you get it? afraid when I go to send overweight, so the cut buttons on the clothes pocket!
is late to write here, the time to me to play, remember not to drink plenty of water, or to the urine does not come out here very hard to accept !
P. S had wanted to send money to you, but the envelope has been glued!

17. a dyspeptic patient complained to the doctor: I recently not normal, what to eat pull anything, eat cucumber pull cucumber,The fate of the lord shower peep ! , watermelon eating watermelon pull, how to restore normal? doctors silent for a moment, that you can only eat shit out.
18. someone to go to Shanghai on business in the street lost a dollar, the police said: 19. One day an ant is the sun, suddenly saw an elephant walking leisurely, got busy with straight front legs, next to the rabbit hurriedly asked you doing? ant said: I mixed his foot , earthworms father thought, put his into the minced meat. earthworm mother cried and said: Will die cut so broken! . said to him: you come, I carry you now and then .. .. .. After a snail on the table and saw an ant .. .. turtle said to him: Come on you .. so the ants also come up. . Ants came after the snail .. .. see the above said something to him, , a fire, father and mother escaped, leaving only one son still inside. Mother is very nervous outside the house shouted: .. Quick, ~ are on fire, but also to stay inside .....~ half-day leaves no fish on the hook, he changed a piece of bread, like a half-day did not fish on the hook ~ ~ no way ~ as he had to replace it, or half of earthworms did not fish on the hook under the ~ ~ ~ He angrily threw into the water out 100rmb cursed: Buy their own! ! !
24. table with a cold, runny nose, but he forgot to bring a handkerchief, and to keep the nose to nose forced inhalation. Write on the blackboard> language teacher suddenly turned to a lot of noises: Teacher and> said:
He replied: ; Why print counterfeit currency? criminals, said: the real one I will not print
27. Cowherd and Weaver Girl know down to earth bath, shaking ZZZZZZZZZ interpretation of a love story, it tells us: there is no opportunity to bathe at home, Therefore, we must go out bath wash .....
28. Xiao Ming back to the classroom with the teacher after using the toilet, said: ants how to say? no sound ah? . The female mosquito: good things, one by one all grown up Chishi
31. I spent 80,discount tory burch The least romantic classic,000 bought a Western Zhou pottery, called yesterday to columns were identified, experts said gravely: Western Zhou Dynasty? This is last week!
32. son: ah, and then what. the bullet is too scary! you? nurses, injection of the fortune. fortune tellers said: You, the first half doomed no women; not the man's face lit up: That I should have a right later in life? fortune teller said: hey, to later in life you get used to a person's life
37 . a person to eat a piece of beef, beef noodles can not see, he pointed to the bowl asked the boss: how beef is not beef noodles? boss said dismissively: Do not serious, do you expect from the wife eat cake in a wife?
38. Three mice were tasting the United States, Japan, China, wine, drink American wine mouse, go to step 3 down; drink sake mouse, go to step 2 down; mice drinking Chinese Erguotou , holding a kitchen knife, shouted: a problem, ask 41. a man to jump, just shouted back to his wife: said: I put the marriage, and all sorts of harsh cat care on rats, mice get fat quickly, mouse is moved: Each time the mirror, I always said to myself psychological encouragement himself: . to set off the beauty of this world! In fact, I really, really very creative ...
45. friends to go mountain climbing to the top, face the beautiful mountains and rivers of a girl shouting: the motherland ah! my mother! a secret crush on her boys quickly followed cried out: the motherland ah! my wife's mother!
46. before I bought two puppies, called the days Monkey encountered after taking a monster,brown north face jacket 时光过了，恋情淡了，也就散, he had to read the magic spell to call back to help Goku, and soon the air came a voice: convenient, see also bears,mbt tariki black, too scared to say a word, the Bears saw a mouse, said: and they had a falling out, and almost beat them, because some of them say that you monkeys, apes and some that you like, just too much! did not see you as a pig!
50. panda birthday, We said: I made two wishes, one is able to cure my dark circles, the other is hope to have a color photograph
51. Kuangzhui bees butterflies,tory burch canvas logo sneaker, butterfly is married to a snail. bee puzzled: He Where is the butterfly better than I answer: whatever the outcome, people have their own house, which, like you live in the dormitory
52. One day an elephant in the bath. Suddenly there was an ant came to this they said. you stand up. started to stand up. ant! you sit down and go. elephants do not understand Yeah you want to ask the ants. one will stand up and sit down for a while. ant replied! lost my underwear I see is not what you wear to steal
53. production team has just bought a donkey, but he died a few days. just a mare in heat. production team of employees to call to the production of business in the field captain. , but the jackass is dead. is to buy a head of a donkey, or you come back? disgusting things
55. a meteor across the night sky, I quickly make a wish, I hope you can become prettier. Who knows just finished Xu wish meteor I was not intentionally make things difficult for you?! !
56. give me a canteen of bread as a fulcrum,north face metropolis parka sale, and I will be able to tilt the Earth! to the cafeteria Dafan, hit after dinner to ask Dafan master, You three conditions, the bat said, What is it? Toilet flies: Road does not phase the different plan, eat in good You Shayong, the light you've seen a few beautiful ass?
60. sophomore, all quarters of the girls like Zhou Hua Jian's songs, a tape was borrowed by us to go. Day, the girls ask spread: Zhou Hua Jian I do? Girls bunk answer: in my bed too! Silent two seconds, and then all the overturned bed.
61. a boy to a classmate to take a sheng nickname, called Pan Zhu, girls crying to the teacher, the teacher agreed to criticism of the boys the next day, speaking teachers in the class: nicknames, can not people like the Han to Jiaosha it? Ordinary dogs look at it dismissively said: idiot, see, I was undercover!