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Chris Rae, Scotsman and Excel system supervisor, writes “The Septic’s Companion” as a guide to British culture and slang. It may, however, incite some Americans to have a stonking wobbler.
By Robin Dalmas
December 2, 2008
When Chris Rae first visited the United States as a 19-year-old university student, he was positively gobsmacked by the number of septics who had no blooming clue what he was “on about.” After all, he was speaking plain English.
Rae was born in Edinburgh, Scotland,Office 2010 Home And Stude/nt, which is affectionately known as “Auld Reekie.” A mountain peak called “Arthur’s Seat” towers over the “Firth of Forth,” and people eat haggis, marrow, and trifle. The road signs say “Give way,” and buses carry the warnings “Mind your head.” Is it any wonder the Americans thought he was speaking a foreign language?
Rather than get his knickers in a twist, Rae returned to Scotland and began to compose a list of British expressions that he had uttered in the United States that no one had understood. Between classes at the University of St. Andrews near Edinburgh, he peppered his list with utterly common British words such as “blimey,” “pillock,” “knackered,” and “snog.”
“I had a Web page without much on it,” Rae said. “I stuffed this list on the Web page. People started mailing me with suggestions. It turned into a database thing. The list got longer and longer.”
Time marched on, and Rae was working at an investment bank in London. “The list was making me zero money exactly,” he said. Things began to change in October 2006. Rae landed a job as an Excel program manager at Microsoft, moved to the United States, and quickly discovered that the world’s largest software company had quite the entrepreneurial spirit. “When I got here, I found that people were much more interested in your hobbies than what you get paid or what your title is,” Rae said. “Moving here got me into the idea that I could just print this thing as a book.”
Rae did a bit of research on self-publishing. One and a half years later,Windows 7 32bit, Bob’s your uncle! He is now the proud author of “The Septic’s Companion,” a cheeky and hilarious guide to British culture and slang now available on Amazon.com. (Truth be told, the majority of the British-English slang dictionary is still available for free on his original Web site.)
If the book’s title sounds a bit noodle-doodle, Rae can explain. It comes from Cockney rhyming slang. “Cockney rhyming slang is a pretty simple, if somewhat odd, affair. It basically consists of a couplet of words, the second of which rhymes with the word you’re actually aiming at. For example, the word ‘glasses’ is represented by the phrase, ‘Jackie Onassis.’” If someone points to his head and calls it a “loaf,Windows 7 Ultimate,” he is having fun with the fact that “loaf of bread” rhymes with head. If someone writes a book called “The Septic’s Companion,” he is having fun with the fact that “septic tank” rhymes with “Yank.”
“To a Brit, a ‘Yank’ is anyone of American descent,Microsoft Office 2007 Professional,” Rae explains. Americans who don’t throw a wobbler over this unfortunate association with a sewage treatment method might decide that Rae’s little paperback is rather natty. Think of it as an irreverent travel guide to Britain, complete with short, digestible bits and bobs on geography, government, the European Union, currency, regional accents, British food, pubs, and the British education product. Not to mention the A to Zed definitions of all those kooky British words.
What if you just like staying home? “The Septic’s Companion” can help you untangle the Britspeak in all those Monty Python movies, Harry Potter books,Cheap Office 2010, or Red Dwarf TV episodes. “I think that’s where most Americans get their exposure to British stuff,” Rae said.
Rae returns to Britain frequently. “I have lots of friends in London, so I keep going back. All of my vacation time I seem to spend standing in a kilt at a wedding.” Still, he occasionally pines for the homeland. Ask him what he misses most about Britain, and he says, “Oddly enough, I am making a list.” It includes “proper roundabouts” and historic buildings.
Rae doesn’t miss everything. “When I’m in England now, I feel like I’m in medieval Britain; there is no service in bars. I like the table service in bars in the U.S.” Would you like a sarnie with your bitter, Sir?