f?the?nasty?words?mocking?looks?and?accusations?
that?she?hurls?at?me?day?after?day?piercing?me?lik e?arrows?from?a?tightly?strung?bow?which?are?
nearly?impossible?to?pull?from?my??body.?I'd?like? to?scream?at?Mother?Margot?the?van?Daans?
Dussel?and?Father?too:?"Leave?me?alone?let?me??hav e?at?least?one?night?when?I?don't?cry?myself?to?
sleep??with?my?eyes?burning?and?my?head?pounding.? Let?me?get?away?away?from?everything?
away?from?this?world,
uggs clearence!"?But?I??can't?do?that.?I?can't?let?them?see?my?d oubts?or?the??wounds?they've?
inflicted?on?me.?I?couldn't?bear?their??sympathy?o r?their?good-humored?derision.?It?would?only?
make?me?want?to?scream?even?more.?
Everyone?thinks?I'm?showing?off?when?I?talk?ridicu ?lous?when?I'm?silent?insolent?when?I?answer?
cunning??when?I?have?a?good?idea?lazy?when?I'm?tir ed?selfish??when?I?eat?one?bite?more?than?I?
should?stupid?cowardly??calculating?etc.?etc.?All? day?long?I?hear?nothing?but?what??an?
exasperating?child?I?am?and?although?I?laugh?it?of f?and??pretend?not?to?mind?I?do?mind.?I?wish?I?
could?ask?God?to??give?me?another?personality?one? that?doesn't?antagonize??everyone.
53?
But?that's?impossible.?I'm?stuck?with?the?characte r?I??was?born?with?and?yet?I'm?sure?I'm?yilai:
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