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Old 11-08-2011, 05:28 AM   #1
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Old 11-08-2011, 06:29 AM   #2
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Old 11-08-2011, 06:29 AM   #3
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时间可以改变一切!”这话不假,但是放在爱情里,你就得掂量掂量,男生要体谅女生的十个地方。如果你现在正在试图改变你们尴尬的局面,エアマックス90,以下8种情况供你参考。没有结果的爱,该放手还是尽快吧。 
 
   一、你在乎对方比较多
 
   你在谈恋爱,エアマックス2011,却不确定对方的想法,エアマックス95;你觉得你们很合适,他好像不以为然,Open and Persevere;他不在时你很想他,你不在时他好像没差别,这表示什么?
   “二人若不同心,岂能同行呢?”有时候会有一方爱另一方较多的情形,若是在健全的感情中,会有交替的 现象,两人轮流扮演追求和被追求的角色;但如果有一方总是扮演追求者,这样的感情不健全,长久下去,你会对 爱饥渴,你会觉得受对方控制,你会感到愤怒、受骗、痛苦。
 
   二、你爱的是对方的潜力
 
   你爱的是对方的潜力,而不是对方真正的样子,你爱的是对方未来可能的样子,那他根本不是你的伴侣,而是你改 造的对象。
 
   我们每次作婚前辅导都会问,如果对方五十年内都不会改变,你会满意吗?如果你一直希望能改变对方,才觉得比 较满意,那就不是爱,而是****,用双方的快乐当作赌注,ナイキ エアマックス
   你跟一个人交往时,要爱和尊重对方的本相,而不是他未来的样子,你可以期望他继续成长,但你必须满意 他现在的样子。
 
   三、你想要帮助对方
   你常觉得对方很可怜吗?你觉得自己有责任帮助对方振作起来吗?你会不会害怕如果离开对方,他会受不了 打击?如果是,你恐怕是个“救难狂”。
   “救难狂”不会去找一个合适的对象,而是找一个他所同情、可以帮助的对象。找一个受过创伤、脆弱、依 赖、不被爱、委屈的人,你由怜生爱,他会对你心生感激,这样的感情像是一项救援任务,而不是健全、平衡的感 情。
 
  这里要牢记的关键是“尊重”,你爱的对象必须是你能够尊重的人,你必须以对方为荣,你的伴侣不要你的救 援,而是要你真正了解他。
四、把对方当作崇拜的对象

   年轻的女明星爱上导演、大学生爱上教授、秘书爱上老板……,爱上所崇拜的对象,这种感情很难维持正常 ,因为两人之间无法平等对待。
   男女双方必须要平等对待,我不是指地位,而是态度,不能过度崇拜对方。会爱上所崇拜对象的人,通常自 信心低落,他们觉得自己很糟糕,对小徐同志的血泪控诉
   五、你只是被对方外表吸引
   每个人都会这样,对吗?如果你发现自己被对方的某个特质深深吸引,要问自己,若对方没有那双蓝色的大 眼睛、磁性的声音……,若对方不是模特儿、不会打篮球……,我还会跟他(她)在一起吗?男人外表才是第一生 产力
   六、短暂朝夕相处的机会
   你和对方分担某个工作,常常要一起加班,于是你觉得爱上了对方……。你去度假三周,认识一个也来度假 的男人,你觉得好象坠入情网……。短暂的朝夕相处,是指在特殊情况下凑在一块,并不是常规,这种感情不能持 久,因为短时间的朝夕相处,无法使你完全了解对方的个性。
   七、为了叛逆才选择这对象
   父母老是跟你强调,要找个有钱的对象,偏偏你每个男朋友都是穷光蛋;从小父母就对你管教 严格,エアマックス2010,偏偏你每个女朋友都很随便;从小父亲就耳提面命,传香火是最重要的事,偏偏你的女朋友不是不能生,就是不 想生……
   如果你所选的对象,老是令父母生气,很可能你只是想叛逆,你觉得一定要证明什么来反击,当你不能控制 自己的选择,你并不是真心爱对方,这段感情注定没有结果。
   八、对方不是自由身
   我把这点留到最后,是因为这根本不能算是感情。选择终身伴侣的第一个前提是――对方是“自由身”。“ 自由身”就是可以自由和你交往,没有结婚、没有订婚、没有固定的交往对象、没有和别人上床、单身,只和你交 往的人。
   如果你爱上的那个男人答应会早点和另一个女人分手;或是他说他不爱那个女人,他爱的是你;或是他原来 的对象接受你的存在,他们不打算分手,但他想跟你在一起一阵子;或是他刚分手,但可能破镜重圆……,这些都 不是自由身。
   别和已婚或有对象的人交往,不管是什么借口,结果都一样,你注定要心碎。别忘了,你只是接受了另一个 人用剩的部分。
   选择权在你手上,责任在你身上,你要选对人。如果你有交往的对象,而且你是上面谈到的八 种感情之一,nike air max,去找辅导,别浪费时间,还有更好的对象在等你 .
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