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Old 08-12-2011, 08:53 AM   #1
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Old 08-12-2011, 08:59 AM   #2
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25365 2010年07月13日 11:35 阅读(loading...) 评论(0) 分类:生活零用

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Old 08-12-2011, 09:12 AM   #3
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25407 2010年12月13日 17:27 阅读(loading...) 评论(0) 分类:网摘

  1、认识一博士MM,娃娃脸,韩式发型,怎么看怎么像一乖乖巧巧的在校大学生。不过,她一张嘴,通常是 满座皆惊。某次聚会,一自称见多识广的哥们把我拉到一边,问:这MM是干什么的。我说在读博士。哥们说:我 的娘唉,流氓专业的博士吧。
  2、氧化钙。MM很博学,在表示蔑视的时候,不说靠,而说氧化钙。一哥们问氧化钙啥意思。MM说:Ca O,red wing sale。该哥们比较呆,继续问是啥意思。MM说就是CaO的汉语拼音。该哥们依然不明白什么意思,MM大吼一声: 草,TM非逼我说粗话。
  3、一次聚会,有一暴发户在场,大谈自己如何有钱,说现在的社会钱代表了一切,就没有钱办不成的事情。 MM立刻甜甜的一笑:给你一千万,麻烦你帮我把我二舅的照片放大了挂tian~an-door上吧。
  4、有一做安利的哥们推销安利牙膏,凭良心说,这牙膏还是蛮好的。该哥们按照该公司设计的推销方式做宣 传。就是拿个牙膏纸盒,一边挤上安利牙膏,一边挤上别的牌子的牙膏,然后用牙刷分别刷一刷,再把牙膏擦去。 结果是涂了安利牙膏的这边毫发无损,而涂了别的牌子牙膏的那边则略有磨损,用以说明安利牙膏不损伤牙齿釉面 。哥们做完实验举着盒子大声问大家:这说明了什么。MM大声回答:证明安利牙膏刷牙刷不干净,red wing mens boots!该哥们当场晕倒。
  另有一姐们推销面膜,其宣创方式是给人右边脸蛋涂面膜左边边不涂,洗干净后,让人双手放在脸蛋边同时扇 风。通常人们感觉右边风大,该姐们就趁机说:做完面膜后,清透了毛孔,感觉自然灵敏了。这种方式推销了不少 面膜,red wing heritage。有次不幸遇到了MM,MM说:左边风大。该姐们说:你感觉的不对,你再感觉感觉。MM大声说:不用感觉了 ,普通人都是右手手劲大,所以感觉右边风大。我是左撇子,你该给我涂左边脸蛋。该姐们从此发誓再也不推销面 膜了。
  5、有一姓王的哥们,伶牙俐齿,经常调笑别人。某次吃饭,有位姓侯的哥们,王哥们就问:您是哪个侯?侯 还是候,中间有没有那一竖。搞得侯哥们面红耳赤。MM在一边看不下去,就说:哥们,你姓王还是玉啊。王哥们 说:王!MM说:哎呀,我记错了阿,我以为你下面有那一点呢,原来你没有啊。全座笑翻。
  6、还是该王姓哥们,一次开MM的玩笑说:我一看到你就想奸杀你。MM说:通过奸来达到让对方死的目的 ,该需要多强的体力阿,我怕你体力不支,你还是用普通方法杀死我算了。王哥们顿时脸若红布。
  7、有个男生追求MM,没有追上,后来又找了个别的院系的女朋友。其女朋友很能吃醋,有一天和MM在校 园里狭路相逢,这个男生的女朋友拦住MM说:知道吗,现在我们谈恋爱了,希望你不要再骚扰他。该男生低头不 语。MM说:哦,恭喜恭喜,这个男人虽然是已经被用过了,但是没有损坏,功能尚可,你不要嫌弃,凑合着用吧 。那个女朋友当场气晕。
  8、MM对付色狼常用的一句话是“我有爱滋我怕谁”
  9、MM嘲笑人没见识的时候常说:“没见过猪跑还没吃过猪肉”仔细一想,还真是这么回事。现在孩子,吃 过猪肉还真未必见过猪跑
  10、 MM身材很好,挺胸翘臀,很性感的样子,不免就有男生蠢蠢欲动,red wing boot store,MM是那种说话开放行为保守的两面派。MM的男同学大都是三十岁以上的老男人。(MM认为人过了三十就可 以成为老了,她自己常常哀叹自己老之将至,还没有毕业上班,更不能奢想退休了)有一艺术学院的色男,好上猫 扑,平时也学得很高水平的泡妞技术,就去泡博士MM,red wing store。博士MM很直接地问他:你带**了吗?色男说带了,MM就立刻很嘲笑的说:看来你是有备而来的了,和我磨 叽这么长时间就为了上床呀。色男就讪讪的说,开玩笑呢,没带,red wing shoes outlet。MM立刻更嘲笑的说:想和MM上床连**都不准备,真是个不负责任的男人。色男无处遁逃,还做最后的挣扎 :我结扎了。 MM说:你有性病吗?色男说:我没有。MM说:你说没有就没有了阿,有证明吗?色男被绕昏了头说:我每次都 带**。MM大笑问:你带**了吗?……如此循环三遍,色男落荒而逃,还有一个后果是,有一个月的时间,色 男见了**就阳痿。

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