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周五下班，六里桥北里。6点。人称鬼见愁。人山人海，车马奔腾。北京的下班高峰以周五为最，周五的下班高峰 以六里桥北里为最，六里桥北里的挤车高峰以开往卢沟桥的661路为最。企图在万千等车人中脱颖而出，觅得一 座的正是鄙人。完成这样的任务，无论是小布什这样的政治明星,versace sunglass for men，还是范冰冰这样的娱乐大腕都是不可能的。即便是天天在京城叫嚣不止以屠户自居的王朔――王八爷面对这样的 局势也只能望车兴叹，唯独鄙人可以把这种功夫演绎得出神入化，淋漓尽致，谁叫咱打小就擅长脱颖 而出呢！ 在六里桥北里下车，661站牌下已经水泄不通，膘肥体壮的，窈窕婀娜的，贼眉鼠眼的，天庭方圆的，穿衬衫打 领带的，及拖鞋着吊带的，肤色黝黑的，皮肤细腻的……应有尽有。我下车时，他们几乎都没正眼看我。我想，小 样！来得早不如来的巧！三分钟后，661缓缓驶来，人潮涌动，叫骂声起。我后退三步，瞄见661身后其实紧 跟着一个661空调车。这是经验！下班高峰661容易出现“双胞胎”。司机很幽默。紧紧藏在前面的661后 面。没经验的人根本看不见。我还在站牌下等，第一辆661已经在离站20米处提前开门上客了，显然我没戏了 。661门口人肉横飞，惨不忍睹……我一个凌波微步就卡在了后一辆661门口。我盯着司机看，那孙子一脸冷 酷。我等了5秒钟，司机根本没有提前开门的意思。我立刻会意了，又一个凌波微步撤回到站牌下占据最佳位置。 至此，我的那个座位已经十有八九收入屁（屁股）下。在这一系列的动作中，包含着经验、观察、分析、动作等一 系列技术含量极高的智力和脑力运动。首先是经验，我准确地判断出了车后有车，多数庸人并没发现。因为前一辆 车座位已经满了。我技术再好，充其量也只是上去占个有利地形。前一辆车提前开门，后一辆车也就有可能提前开 门上客。所以，我第一次用了凌波微步。然而，前后两个司机类型不一。北京的公交司机我大致分为四类：第一类 、麻木冷酷型，第二类煞笔痴呆型，第三类机动灵活型，第四类被逼无奈型。其中前两类会严格按照规定进站停车 ，后两类则往往机动灵活，会在站前停车。而我所面临的这辆661空调车的司机就属于典型的煞笔 痴呆型。
此乃后话，话说我在661站牌下占据有利地形后，前后腿叉开30度角，左肩膀微微前倾，661缓缓开来，门 口一堆人跟着车亦步亦趋，果然，车在我面前戛然而止，与我同在车门口的是一位体重在200斤以上的“彪哥” ，虽然我们机会均等，但是，轮对抗我不是他的个，我瞄了一眼，车上总共不会超过三个空座。司机把门一开，那 位“彪哥”站在了车门回缩的一边，被车门扇出去了。说真的，那种感觉妙极了,ugg bailey button on sale，前呼后拥，排山倒海，连推带架，还不算身边那些女人的手呀、胸呀等等，光是那些汉味和各种香水味就足够“ 销魂”的了。结果自不待言，我在万千男女中脱颖而出,nike sport shoes。占据了一个靠窗的位置。我坐稳后，看着那些抱头鼠窜的美女帅哥，心里那个美呀。心想，这年头，出来混，是 要有一技之长的。不是我要占这个位子，是人民把我推向了历史的舞台呀。
　　车开动后，一个50岁以上的大妈站在我身边，盯着我看，似乎在说，年轻人，你就不知道给老年人让个座么 ？我看了她一眼，拿出《莲花》胡乱翻看。即便是售票员指着我，我也不可能让座的。因为鄙人挤公交车有两个原 则。一是不给北京人让座，为什么？不为什么!看他们那幅大爷作风心里不爽，仅此而已。二是在上下班的时候， 不给年龄在55岁以上的男人和年龄在50岁以上的女人让座。这些人挤了一辈子公交车，成了习惯和爱好，退休 以后，有事没事就出来挤挤公交车。我就想不通了，上下班高峰那些老头老太太非要出来和年轻人赶什么热闹？我 们上一天班累得要死，好不容易弄个座位，你给面前一站，两眼一翻，我就得给你让座，什么狗屁“中华民族传统 美德”。您老既然忘了“爱幼”，我小就不知何谓“尊老”。爱站站着去。
在北京挤公交说起来时间不长，但是，由于天生聪颖，善于总结，所以屡战屡胜。向各位透露一下挤公交秘籍：一 要观察。即观察等车人群和司机表情。二要卡位，这是技术含量最高的一个环节。卡好位你根本不用抢，别人就会 把你推到座位上去。三要落座迅速，挤公交车是为了占座位，如果车上没座，那就不用挤了。挤上车以后，如果还 有座位，一定要瞄准一个，迅速落座。千万别左顾右盼，吃着碗里的看着锅里的,manolo shoe，要知道你身后有太多的人虎视眈眈呀，座位是稍纵即逝的。
　　好了，挤公交，其乐无穷。纯属闲谈，切莫过于当真！others：


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