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Methods to Accept Criticism with Grace and Appreciation Post written by Leo Babauta. Abide by me on twitter or identica.
On a daily basis, I get emails and comments which are incredibly advantageous and encouraging, and in fact these messages will be the really issue that sustains my blogging. Yet, I also get damaging remarks now and after that: criticism of my composing, and not good criticism both.
How do you contend with criticism? I believe the initial reaction for most of us could be to defend ourselves, or even worse nevertheless to lash back again.
And yet still, while criticism can be taken as hurtful and demoralizing, it could also be viewed inside of a constructive way: it really is honesty, and it could spur us to complete more desirable. It’s an opportunity to improve.
Recently,
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The reader emailed me again,
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After sending my email, I felt I might have been a little harsh. But now, after reading your response, I think you would have the perfect qualities to write an article or two about taking criticism with grace and appreciation.
I really liked that thought, so here is that publish he suggested: how you can take criticism with grace and appreciation.
Stop Your First Reaction
If your very first reaction is to lash again at the person giving the criticism, or to become defensive, take a minute before reacting at all. Take a deep breath, and give it a little thought.
Personally, I tend to get a little angry when I’m criticized. But I have also taught myself not to react right away. For example, I’ll let a critical email sit in my inbox for at least an hour before replying. Or I’ll walk away from someone instead of saying something I’ll regret later.
That cooling off time allows me to give it a little more thought beyond my initial reaction. It allows logic to step in, past the emotion. I don’t have anything against emotion, but when it’s a damaging emotion, sometimes it may possibly cause more harm than good. So I let my emotions run their course, after which respond when I’m calmer.
Turn a Negative Into a Beneficial
One of the keys to my success in anything I do is my ability to acquire beneficial facts in factors that most people see as a adverse. Sickness forces me to stop my exercise program? That’s a welcome rest. Tired of my job? That’s a time to rediscover what’s important and to look for a far better job. Supertyphoon ruined all my possessions? This allowed me to realize that my stuff wasn’t important, and to be thankful that my loved ones were still alive and safe.
You’re able to do the same point with criticism: discover the beneficial in it. Sure, it may be rude and mean, but in most criticism, you can actually uncover a nugget of gold: honest feedback and a suggestion for improvement.
For example, this criticism: “You write about the same items over and over and your posts are boring and stale.”
May be read: “I need to increase the variety of my posts and uncover new ways of looking at old points.”
That’s just one example of course — you are able to do that with just about any criticism. Sometimes it’s just someone having a bad day, but many times there’s at least a grain of reality in the criticism.
See it as an opportunity to improve — and without that constant improvement, we are just sitting still. Improvement is a good issue.
Thank the Critic
Even if someone is harsh and rude, thank them. They might have been having a bad day, or maybe they’re just a bad person in general. But even so, your attitude of gratitude will probably catch them off-guard.
And you know what? My habit of thanking my critics has actually won a few of them over. They became friends of mine, and eventually a couple of them became some of my biggest proponents. All because of a rather simple act of saying thank you for the criticism. It’s unexpected, and often appreciated.
And even if the critic doesn’t take your “thank you” in a good way, it’s still good to accomplish — for yourself. It’s a way of reminding yourself that the criticism was a good point for you, a way of keeping yourself humble.
Learn from the Criticism
After seeing criticism inside a advantageous light, and thanking the critic,
microsoft office Pro Plus 2007, don’t just move on and go again to business as usual. Actually try to improve.
That’s a difficult concept for some people, because they often presume that they’re right no matter what. But no one is always right. You, in fact, may be wrong,
microsoft office 2007 Ultimate key, and the critic may be right. So see if there’s something it is possible to change to make yourself more effective.
Then make that change. Actually strive to try and do more effective.
When I received criticism that my posts weren’t as good as they could be, I strove to improve. I tried hard to write more desirable posts. Now, did I actually accomplish that? That’s a matter of opinion — some will say no, whilst others seemed to enjoy the posts. Personally, I’ve been rather proud of some of these posts, and I’m glad I made the extra effort.
Be the Superior Person
Too many times we take criticism as a personal attack, as an insult to who we are. But it’s not. Well, perhaps sometimes its, but we don’t have to take it that way. Take it as a criticism of your actions, not your person. If you do that, you'll be able to detach yourself from the criticism emotionally and see what should be done.
But the way that many of us handle the criticisms that we see as personal attacks is by attacking back. “I’m not going to let someone talk to me that way.” Especially if this criticism is made in public, such as in the feedback of a blog. You have to defend yourself, and attack the attacker … right?
Wrong. By attacking the attacker, you are stooping to his level. Even if the person was mean or rude, you don’t have to be the same way. You don’t have to commit the same sins.
Be the more desirable person.
If you can rise above the petty insults and attacks, and respond in a very calm and good manner to the meat of the criticism, you will be the more beneficial person. And guess what? There are two amazing benefits of this:
Others will admire you and assume more suitable of you for rising above the attack. Especially if you remain optimistic and actually take the criticism well. This has happened to me, when people actually complimented me on how I handled attacking remarks.
You will feel much better about yourself. By participating in personal attacks,
office Professional Plus 2007 keygen, we dirty ourselves. But if we can stay above that level, we feel good about who we are. And that’s the most important benefit of all. How do you stay above the attacks and be the more effective person? By removing yourself from the criticism, and looking only at the actions criticized. By seeing the good in the criticism, and trying to improve. By thanking the critic. And by responding with a positive attitude.
A quick example: Someone criticizes one of my posts by saying, “You’re an idiot. I don’t understand what x has to accomplish with y.”
My typical response will be to primary, ignore the very first sentence. And second, to say something like, “Thanks for giving me an opportunity to clarify that. I don’t feel I made it as clear as I should have. What x has to undertake with y is … blah blah. Thanks for the great question!”
And by ignoring the insult, taking it as an opportunity to clarify, thanking the critic, using the opportunity to explain my point further, and staying advantageous, I have accepted the criticism with grace and appreciation. And in doing so, remained the more desirable person, and felt great about myself.
See also:
Why Residing a Life of Gratitude Can Make You Happy
Learn how to Get Motivated When You’re Inside a Slump
6 Practical and Powerful Ways to Overcome Depression
Peaceful Simplicity: Methods to Live a Lifestyle of Contentment
Five Great Ways to Achieve Happiness Through Serving Others
18 Practical Tips for Living the Golden Rule
75 Straight forward Pleasures to Brighten Your Day
5 Inspirations for Being in the Moment
A Guide to Escaping Materialism and Finding Happiness
A Guide to Cultivating Compassion in Your Everyday life, With 7 Practices
Handbook for Life: 52 Tips for Happiness and Productivity
ten Benefits of Rising Early, and The way to Do It
microsoft office Pro Plus 2007 How to Accept Criti
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