Nine panic of loneliness

alarm of loneliness

numerous years, I hiding, desperately absence to flee from alone, been to few places, where no recurrence, merely has not darted open the damn lonely.

Seventeen annuals ago I was forced to depart my 1st home apt Henan, Xinjiang, 11 years ago, I hesitate to set foot on the train to Shenzhen five years ago, I took my dreams and sadness standing Zhejiang land, can no supply from a imagine, now, I'm blueprinting on their next tumble.

I not doubted my own memory of the first home, regardless of those lovely folk are still pretty things are the best memories of my infancy, no access this ambition never change, even when climbing fun tree in the left leg of a long scar from childhood maltreatment alternatively is callous way my mama did not let it cast a shadow. So in recent years extra and I miss Xinjiang,GHD Hair, many nights I dream back home, elated laugh when get up up, get up up tears.

Today, the feelings experienced after a failure, Zhejiang, the place I lived for five years yet without anybody place worthy of my nostalgia, one person living alone in a deserted rented chamber, I looked around and everything are well versed with, a few months to no one called to ask if I shriek my family well-being, if Paul lukewarm the chilly winter, I once anew fend for themselves with a person, for I did for when nativity.

also thought at the end of the day,GHD Hair Straightener, closed the rental and gas stove drip will be very effortless to let feel I no longer awake, possibly I'll like Hans Christian Andersen's novels, like The Little Match Girl, back to heaven , no longer fret and solitude.

but I will not do is always, at least not now, I have a hope unfulfilled, there are days I have to stand in front of his dad and told him I did not let him down, so I this valueless life, any person considered live.

As for why I left without looking back six years of my life, Henan, I think the reply is I'm afraid it unattended, but this alone is spiritual, but particularly, my psyche to bear.

to Henan's aunt, I have very happy, I adore the small villages in the carefree beasts, the green hills are covered with a miss, and later in the South, every spring I like the smell from the wind Some taint youthful atmosphere, and memory in the same intoxicated.

Unfortunately, there is no perfect thing in the earth, orphans no way always perpetual dream, my life took place in the complex world of change cornering.

at the time I was fourteen years old, black and stormy night in a night hiking alone in the train station go on the road, around the cool wind blowing, the trees on either sides of road roaring sound issue, no one is further away wheat fields and strewed graves,New GHD Professional Pink Straighteners, on the road without a car, no avenue lights, trees deep gully faint dark people not look the actual situation. However, I did not fear for I do so in array to avert more terrifying than this filthy matter, so I was, center unwavering.

lesson, said naught to fear is disloyal, from my side when a speeding motorcycle, but later a hundred meters in front of me suddenly stopped, I quickly feared to the utmost, for a period the body of the nerve are tight Bengzhuo, then without thinking I jumped into a roadside gully, better deep ditch covered with long grass, I did not fall, was likewise one of high grass cover up. Covered with the alcohol at namely motorcycle riders in the altitude of my head and not far away,GHD Diamond National Flag, he opened the throttle boss, high-intensity headlights bombarded back and ahead in my brain,GHD Mini Salon Styler Straighteners, I do not understand what he's attempting, but I kas long asthis is definitely not a good thing, I prevaricate inactive on the ground, the air is not a cry, half the day, he tread on the accelerator and ran immediately ample to flee away.

many years afterward, when I speak approximately themselves and the people alone who was 14 years antique to work to Shenzhen to work things, they are forever showing me incredible facial statements, so I will speak in this mini article, they will not understand this the significance of which,GHD IV Mini Straighteners, quite constantly, even I do not very understand, but I forever know thatI like a weed, can always adapt to the coarse living environment and crisis situations.

my soul has gone too far, I can not let it stay, when standing on the throng, so I never afraid of creature alone, but fear of loneliness.