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174841229 2007 年 10 月 05 日 10:35 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
a
often in silence, when suddenly the thought of some of the past.
I always thought, my whole life, met with Eric's struggle and the fate of related. In fact, I am a very people who believe in fate, but this time I recognized it!
in a person's world, I can quietly write, sleep, occasional trance meditation. Good mood, I will faint smile, gently singing, or to the balcony to dry mood. I thought my day could have been so bland, placid; I thought I had no one else can do, self-righteous. However, when I met Eric, my life has changed since.
He is a clean and tidy, sun motivated the man, with wheat-colored skin and warm smile. In the afternoon, evening, my whole world is suddenly filled the whole atmosphere about him.
two
Eric lived in my downstairs, very strange, lots of work in the previous days work, often through his door, how come I never noticed, the original downstairs also home to such a nice handsome man.
since that day, we always encounter unexpectedly, and then smile and say hello, say hello to each other. In this way, slowly conversational up. I was suddenly quiet boring life Live Flesh, a lot of bright, feel life has a flavor, a little more color.
Eric is a painter, in this ancient city, he was a minor celebrity. Eric know that I like art, like painting, like literature, and he often invited me to poetry and painting his house.
I like to go to his house and see a painting Manqiang, it is Manqiang above the hills, but not a tree, a grass, a figure or a petal of loess hill and dale, a broad straight dust flying in the Road powerful,
chanel sunglasses 2011, bleak, tragic life of a powerful force to speak in such a silence, the look magnificent, a call out.
I have often been the scene of the magnificence of this broad and deeply attracted to deter forward in life, suffering great vortex rotation, can not come.
whenever this time, his voice as if from the end of the road, the day came from across the other side: This is my heart Dunhuang!
grandeur and tragic life, only a thousand eyes can penetrate.
he said, like the Dunhuang it?
like it! I said.
I like flying in the desert where Dan Yiqu pipa, wanton lips smile micro-Yang is Swordsman's broad-minded, rather than southern women during the Ching Ming lane in the rain, the light and shallow sing insisted paper umbrella .
his eyes snapped at that moment, I saw a ball of fire,
oakley sunglasses 2011, very hot.
Eric that distant and very realistic magnetic voice, my heart beats wildly and often tremor. Then I turned around will be a long time watching him. Then, in his smile warm and clean, I put myself into his arms wide, deep down feeling that comes from the deepest love.
there is a man, there is a strength, not saying a word, you hit in to pieces!
three
and Eric together, I always happy like a child.
my favorite post in the bath wearing his broad shirt, barefoot in his walk around the house. When the total lightly this time with Eric behind me, standing on my feet and I frolic, and then hugged me tightly from behind.
generous warmth of his chest, his fingers soft and strong. So I am deeply fascinated with, sink with, that can give me that hug the whole world. But, I never dared to expect, or touch the heart about \
every night, I will be clean and soft and the quilt Eric sleeping, feeling very warm, very safe, very practical. He often hold me tightly from behind, without a word tender, love me, then I'll make love breathing in, gently fall, sink.
time, I feel happy to open into a blooming flower.
you know how good I met a man.
Yes, he is so gentle and deep eyes, as if the afternoon sun under a pool of water, waves bursts of waves, in my heart echoed, ups and downs; his thinking is so deep wisdom, as if a splendid cultural and artistic treasure house, exudes an attractive charm, people relaxed and happy, imagination. Stroking his fingertips over every inch of my body, I can feel the thrill of a happy, seems to be able to hear the voice of a bloom.
with him every second, are happy, the air is full of honey flavor.
I thought this day would come along with me many days and nights. However, some people are always unexpected things can not stay.
four
a warm afternoon in the evening, we said goodbye.
he was going to Dunhuang, to that distant, has a straight Smoke in the desert city, their dreams! The only blessing to find his heart's dream! Until then, I gradually realized that only the Dunhuang is the favorite of his life!
and I, not!
I clearly see his eyes, he turned to leave the last moment, filled with a deep melancholy and nostalgic songs like LOUKES wet, deep and shallow, intermittently, beat me drop blood of the soul.
He looked at me deeply, and said,
sunglasses hut, good, obedient, remember to be happy, good life! Will have to wait for me back then, I use my soul and wisdom, belonging to our room, arranged the world's most creative, most warm, most romantic home. I want to give you a surprise, give you all my world!
this way, he walked.
moment so I really want to run over in his hands, just as he had been hugging me, hugging him, he said he loved him, and asked him to take me with you. However, I still bite hard Yaochun, overflowing with tears, watched as he gradually step by step out of my sight.
which his eyes fluttering jet flame in that group is still the most thorough pain in my heart!
Since then, I'm afraid of the night, crushing those who fear the rise overlooking the stars. I have boundless empty lonely day, no end who said, \expect love.
days in the absence of Eric, I have been firmly shut himself in a person's room, endless trance, sleeping, dreaming.
had it for some time, I thought I could not continue to live. Night so deep, so deep, lonely and afraid to touch the wounds of pain, really a painful experience had never experienced before.
night, drove much of the light, a person sitting in front of the computer cold, crying, tears, harsh Yao Zhaochun until a faint salty taste of blood Xing Xing, big drops of tears to be large drops fall.
five
I love lost, far, cast a harsh outside world.
most pain Nannai in this day, I met Mike. He is one of my friends, is very optimistic about the progress, very light open-minded, very gentle and kind, in particular, understanding of a person.
Yes, he is not my friend, we never met. But he is my only loyal listeners, he always so cold the other side of the network, quietly listen to me sigh, listening to me, listen to me cry, and then gently comfort.
he often gently said to me, good, you have to listen, we must take life. My tears suddenly opened the floodgates as water, surging out of the big stars big stars dripping on the keyboard.
my face I do not know a stranger, why be so fragile, so wronged, so sad!
has, Eric often said to me, good, obedient, study hard, work hard. He also gave me a lot of warm and pleasant name, call me naughty, naughty, silly girl ... ... so I have a been Chongni, the feeling of being pampered.
in front of him, I'm like a worldly child, spoiled, cry. At this time, he would trembling hands tightly over me into his arms, his hands holding my face in his palm, then gently put his warm lips covered with two pieces of me cheek, slowly,
dior sunglasses 2011, drop by drop to help me dry the tears, until I smile through tears.
This is a very gentle, and sentimental man, ah. There was a moment, I quietly said to myself in the future, marry, they will marry a man like him.
But now, I do not know myself, why this strange man named Mike in front of sad, cried.
between me and Mike, that is not online dating, or even no connection with online dating. I just need that heart to heart communication between and warm. And Eric, heard from since he was now walking without a trace. Perhaps he never knows what I need.
Eric left in the day, I often can not sleep night after night.
one day walking in the street, I saw a lot like Eric's back, and suddenly want to miss him, that fresh, capable, moderate, and has given me a secure happy man. But right where he is now? He said that I will never change No, it will not stop, and if so how do you find me?
whenever I can, always like to accomplish as a sacred wish, once again, to try to set aside the pious well known to the numbers, that there always came the cold voice of the operator: \Sorry, your number has been dialed down ... ... \br> Eric, he do not want me, he's really gone, he left me the only large tracts of blank pieces of life. I often think, he has occasionally think of me? Did he really forget me?
I whisper to herself, and to do a daze, smiling. No one knows the kind of heartbreak, it is so piercing.
six
Mike, often at midnight 2:00 time on the line. He kept looking at the QQ beating head, my heart will suddenly and inexplicably rise of a temperature. Trance, I think he is I accidentally lost the Eric.
and Mike chat is always pleasant, I feel that my body seems to inject new blood, and I feel much better, life is getting bright again.
a lot of time in later years, I tried those out of the shadow of the past. In leisure time, I will walk a person wandering the streets in a long, quiet look at people coming and going.
feel is autumn season, the northern city, Chuanjie the wind was cold. I turned my collar, down the street slowly forward, those stores have been very old, but the owner has been no replacement. But, my Eric, where he now? Once, in the street, our wanton joking loudly, in the wind run to frolic, then we are so passionately yet radiant, full of tension. Yes, it records the number of song and laughter me and Eric, recording how much happiness with us through good times romantic ah.
Today, people have changed, only one person I silently remembered.
in this corner of the street, a man guarding where the old book stalls, few pedestrians, who visited his shop is very few. I hesitated, and then went in to hand, those who still turned the old book.
Suddenly, my eyes lit up, there is a thin layer of celebrity pictures very prominently in sight. It is an illustrated biography of his memoirs.
Xinshou I opened, a line of text are visible at once attracted my attention, \on the heart, then stirred my soul, this book, I know. At that time, Eric often mention his name before me. Academy of Art he is a senior professor, has a unique way of thinking, deep insight and wisdom of the mind, when he was Eric's talents are particularly appreciated, they are like-minded Wangnianzhijiao.
moment my mind blank,
dior sunglasses, and how? Eric him? Is ... ... I can not continue to go on. Hurry quickly paid, hands Jinjinzuanzhao this book, fled also like staggered out of the bookstore's doors in this book, the story of a professor I had never expected to do. Eric, at the Dunhuang Mogao Grottoes where to concentrate his paintings, which are unfortunately the collapse of a cave, there is no time to get away, never to leave themselves a thousand years of silence Dunhuang, with sand dance forever.
Eric, he never come back, and he completely forget me out. Was whether awake or asleep, the moment can not bear to let go of my hand the big man,
sunglasses 2011, Eric, he is gone, he really never left, he threw me a man so recklessly away.
my heart, loss, helplessness, loss, is a large a large a vast and empty.
seven
Since then, I rarely online. I just want to slowly learn Xinruzhishui.
Occasionally, you may see non-stop beating Mike lit the QQ head, looked at his long list of message: the baby, how are you? Where have you been? Long time no see you, ah, how to find you but you all over the world who really want you! I know your heart is very sad ... ... Believe me, I will give you the whole sky! See the reply message must be sure to remember me Oh ... ...
see these words, I still cry, shed tears, still crying splinters, pain nerve numbness. But, Mike, you know? You will never be in my heart Eric.
memory of the thousands and thousands of hate of a thousand million, must love in many, hated, Chennai Ruo He? !
I decided to go to Dunhuang, a man alone, to pursue my life, the only soul.